Taps- A Memory

I had a very unique childhood.  My father was a soldier for 11 years.  Between the ages of 3-5 and again from 9-11, I lived in Germany on an Army base.  An interesting thing about living on base is the soundtrack.  While the bugle calls were for the servicemen/women, they really just became part of my day.

At 6:00AM they played Reveille.  It's a peppy little tune designed to start the day!  This is when they raise the flag and PT (physical training) begins.  Around 6:15-6:30AM I would begin to hear the sound of the soldiers jogging around the housing complex. They stayed in unison by singing cadence. I was usually not out of bed by this time, but I was often awake and strangely comforted by these jaunty songs. My dad taught me some of the PG rated cadences when I was little...Yellow Ribbon and Mama Mama were my favorites.  I still treasure the percussive chorus of those soldiers' voices.  

At 5:00PM they played Recall From Fatigue.  If you were on base (or near base) when this melody sounded you STOPPED. That means if you were walking outside, you stopped where you were standing, fell silent, looked toward the flagpole, if you were wearing a hat you removed it, and put your hand over your heart while they lowered the flag for the day.  If you were driving you pulled over and did the same.  The entire base stood still for those few moments.  Sometimes it was irritatingly inconvenient, but mostly it was a quiet, reverent time.

At 10:00PM, when I was tucked safely in my bed, I would hear Taps.  Everyone has heard this mournful melody either on a movie or at a veteran funeral.  On military bases, it's the goodnight song for the soldiers.  Even at a young age, I could sense that this refrain held both pride and pain.  It 's really just a few notes...but those lonely notes hold so much emotion.  I remember lying there and just feeling a sadness...not a depressed, moody, sadness, rather a pull on my heart to remember.

Taps was especially poignant when my dad was deployed in the first Gulf War.  He missed Christmas that year.  I longed for him.  I missed his fragrance of aftershave and Wrigley's Spearmint gum.  I missed him coming home from PT and watching Sesame Street as he ate his Wheaties.  And at 10:00PM, when Taps played, I just plain missed him.

To this day I cannot bear to hear Taps without getting teary.  I've been to several funerals of veterans.  I can hold it together until they do the 21 gun salute and play Taps.  It means goodnight for the soldier...in the most permanent way...and that breaks my heart.

Tomorrow is Memorial Day.  I am, admittedly, not very patriotic these days. America isn't the same place it used to be.  But, I will always, ALWAYS be grateful to the soldiers who have given their lives in the name of our country.  Most of them were young, vibrant, strong men and women who served with pride and honor. 

Maybe you haven't lost a loved one who was a soldier.  Maybe you haven't watched someone lowered into the ground as Taps played.  Maybe you are the most pacifist, anti-war, global peace advocate in your sphere of influence.  I don't know your story.  However, what we all share is an existential connection to anyone who has contributed to the peace and freedom of our nation.  Remember them tomorrow.  Remember them with pride and pain.  Let your memory be their Taps.