I hated gym class. Well, to be more accurate, up until 6th grade PE was fun and I enjoyed going. Though I had been overweight since I was in 1st grade, I had no anxiety about this class. I was not made to feel subhuman or to be ashamed of my athletic abilities. The year I turned 11 and went to 6th grade, that all changed. My dad retired from the Army and we moved to a small town in Western Kansas.
From the first day of PE at my new school, I knew my life was going to be hell. First, the kids already knew the drill of PE. I did not. I had moved from a different system in DoDD schools. They all knew that class started by running "the backstops". I had never been made to run as a warm up. It was a really long distance too...I'd say 1/4 mile at least. So, of course my confused, fat, slow self did not do well at this task. My classmates were cruel. There were many degrading words tossed at me from the boys and irritated, eye rolling, sighs from girls who were tired of waiting for me to finish running so they could get on with class.
But, once class started it wasn't any better. In the past, PE had been about games and coordination building. Starting in 6th grade it was fierce competition. I realize that sounds hyperbolic, but I assure you, these kids took athleticism very seriously. If you weren't athletic, you were just in their way. Our teacher did nothing to remedy this. If anything, that's how she liked it. I was even made to write an essay instead of participate in the gymnastics unit because the teacher thought I was too fat to do tumbling. There was no fun...just rope climbing, record setting, winning, and losing. And, I, the new fat kid, was always cause for losing.
Wanting to fit in, I tried to play girls volleyball, softball, and basketball. I was met with teammates who ran me over and a lot of time on the bench. When I wasn't getting nasty looks or frustrated comments from the other girls, I was being completely ignored. The coaches were irritated by my lack of skill and could barely contain their annoyance at my presence on the team. So, not only were the other girls being bitchy about winning, the coaches were in silent agreement. In SIXTH grade!!!!!
This continued for 4 more years, all the way through the cursory High School PE class. Along the way, I did learn that there were a few things I enjoyed (like archery). Really, though, most of Junior High and High School PE was about dressing out enough times to get my C and talking to my friends instead of playing the game. Would I rather have been playing? YES! I couldn't take the ridicule...so I quit trying. It was truly much easier to take flack for not trying than to do my best and be met with vicious comments.
For 7 years I thought I hated to exercise. I avoided it and made cutting jokes about it. I stayed sedentary because I didn't want to be faced with nasty looks and comments from the people around me. This of course led to excess weight gain...which led to negative feelings about myself.
My freshman year of college I needed another hour to be full time, so I took a karate class. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! I loved going and I loved moving my body. Feeling braver, I took a kickboxing class. LOVED IT! Later on I would try yoga, zumba, and krav maga (Isreali self defense). All of these activities were fun and made me feel good. Was a good at them? No, no I was not. But it got my body moving, my heart rate up, and my brain chemicals flowing! It felt great.
I was angry though! For all of those years, I thought I hated exercise. I was convinced that I was too fat and slow to participate. In reality, I just needed to find something I enjoyed and that didn't make me feel worthless. So, yesterday when the students in the class I was subbing began to resemble the faces of the mean kids that I was in PE with, I could feel myself getting mad.
The game was 6 base kickball. While it wasn't rocket science, 6 bases it a lot to referee, especially with all of the nuanced rules and hyperactivity of elementary school kids. I had a tough time making all of the calls. Before class started, I explained that I would do my best to be fair, but I wasn't familiar with the game. They agreed to help me out and to give me the benefit of the doubt. Dirty little liars! By the second inning of every 5th and 6th grade class, I had kids who wanted to lynch me. These normal, healthy, 10-12 year olds turned into raging beasts once the game began. They were yelling at me and yelling at each other. Little eyes were rolling and body language was tense and angry. If I missed a call, I could see a little glint of violence in the eyes of some of the kids. It was NOT fun.
I just kept thinking, "This is ELEMENTARY school PE...this is not serious enough to verbally abuse your substitute for missing an out and berate your teammates for a bad kick!!". I wondered, of those kids who had not Hulked out on me and lost their minds to the game, how many of them were starting to hate exercise? How many of them were hating their life a little? How many of them would only take PE while they had to and then quit moving their bodies altogether?
Elementary PE should be about skill building. It should be a time to learn about your body and all of the cool things it's capable of. Exercise should be enjoyable, especially when you are a little kid. If you want to play to win...join an extracurricular league. Get your winning fix there (even though I think many kids, coaches, and parents take little kids sports WAY too seriously). School sponsored physical education should not be a petri dish for ruthlessness, thinly veiled bullying, and winning a kickball game at the cost of someone else's self worth.
I completely agree. I think even extracurricular sports should be about learning teamwork and sportsmanship, rather than extreme competition. I think the only way to remedy it is for parents to start teaching their kids. I pray for the ability to teach and show my boys that compassion is more important than competition. That participation in a sport should develop skills and relationships that should be used to serve the Lord and other people, not as a way to make much of yourself and cut others down.
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