Monday is my little sister's birthday. We are celebrating at my parent's house this year. On the menu: Jaeger Schnitzel, potato salad, speitzelle, bread, and my mom's homemade snicker's cake. This is the meal traditionally known as "Easter Carbfest", but this year my sister will have a brand new baby at Easter so we are going to blend with her in laws for a special meal instead.
Anywho, I am able to partake of Birthday Carbfest 2011 up until the snickers cake. My mom knows how to bake a cake my friends! The mere thought of missing a dessert is a little sad for me. What's worse? I am actually a little afraid to refuse the cake. Maybe my mom's feelings will be a little hurt. In addition, it's totally plausible that the entire family will think I am some sort of religious nut who thinks that all things enjoyable are evil. They may never SAY these things and, even if they don't, I will still wonder whether or not they are THINKING it.
Blog friends, I'd like you to meet my Approval Idol. I use sugar to keep the people I love happy with me. I fear the rejection of saying no to chocolate cake. I'd like to make it perfectly clear that no one has ever forced sugary treats into my mouth or ridiculed me for declining a dessert. It is my very own personal dysfunction.
This illustrates perfectly that sin is not a list of naughty things that I'm not supposed to do (we all know the list, right y'all?). Sin is when I try to make myself OK apart from God. So even benign things like a cake turn to sin when I use them to commandeer love for myself.
The truth is that, no matter what I do about dessert, I am always approved by God through Jesus. Even if the entire world is disappointed with me or worried that I've gone off the deep end...God's love is all that should matter to me. My job now is to repent and ask God to remind me that He always thinks I'm loveable.
Life Less Sweet: Documentation of my struggle with depression and anxiety.
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