When I was 15 I became a Christian and for some reason I quickly equated faith with culture. Almost as soon as the ink dried on my new soul, I had adopted the socio-political stance of the Christian Right. I had always been on the conservative side of things, so it was easy to slip into this new ideology. My love for debate and argument followed me into my Christian walk. Whenever the opportunity presented itself, I would be game for a lively discourse on the topics of abortion, evolution, welfare, and abstinence. There were always a few issues that my heart wasn't in like gay rights, women's roles, and courtship, but I just thought I was a bad Christian and kept striving to beat the drum of my culture.
A funny thing happened when I went to college. Though I still desperately clung to my conservative culture, there began to be a shift in my heart. I met openly gay people...and liked them. I met women who practiced sex outside of marriage...and cared about them. I met young alcoholics...and hurt for them. I met people who had infinitely more information than me about the topic of evolution...and I found my own arguments juvenile. I had a professor who challenged us to challenge our beliefs...he was one of the only people who cared enough to speak into my first dark depressive season.
During that time, what used to be harmless contention about abstract topics became mean, uncaring, unresearched jabs at my fellow human beings. I began to realize that people are not issues. They are complicated, complex, contradictory beings...just like me. It was then I decided to keep my mouth shut more often...to listen more. I began to value relationships over my desire for dispute.
This shift in values has strengthened and solidified itself as I've lived more of life. Over time, many of the culturally Christian stances I had so passionately accepted became unrealistic to me (mostly in the sphere of politics and social justice). Though I still hold a great many Biblical views on socio-political topics, I'm not generally inclined to shout them from the rooftops. If I am not your friend...if I do not love you the way you are...who am I to speak my faith into your life? If I haven't heard your story...haven't listened to your explanations and honest questions...who am I to despise your thoughts? If I haven't laughed and cried with you...had deep, heartfelt discussions with you...who am I to look into your life and point out sin?
I want those I love to know what a relationship with Jesus is like. I want them to understand the depth of His love for them. I want them to understand what honors Him and what grieves Him. But, I can't speak this kind of intimate love to a person by contending in a debate with them. I can't honestly compel them to look to Jesus by smacking them in the head with a thick list of sins and Westernized social rules. If I try to talk with them about matters of faith without first seeking to actively LOVE them, I am just making a bunch of discordant noise.
1Corinthians 13
1. If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
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