I am working in a 6th grade classroom for 4 more weeks as the Math teacher. While I am enjoying the work, there are some areas of improvement in my craft that have popped up as I have undertaken this endeavor. Last week, I had a good mindset. I took the input of other teachers and support staff as helpful, kind advice (which it TOTALLY is). This week, I am noticing, that I am starting to worry and obsess about my shortcomings instead of understanding that I can't "nail it" every time.
At the end of today I was feeling pretty yucky...then I just decided..."I'm not going to do this!" I am going to own the fact that some facets of my career need a little more polish. I am honestly doing my very best to keep up with lessons, grading, make up work, and classroom management. That's all I can do. I'M NOT PERFECT and nobody really expects me to be. They expect a certain degree of competency...which I feel like I am giving.
I'm doing my utmost to give 100% and my efforts are generally being met with encouragement...and a little constructive criticism. Constructive means to build up...that is a good thing. This is my first time being a long term sub. It's a different ball game. I have some things to learn and I am accepting that without absorbing it into my self image.
This is a growing experience. When I am done with this assignment, I will have more knowledge...more practice...more tricks in my bag. Instead of getting all melancholy and focusing on my "failures", I am making a concerted effort to frame this experience as a period of positive development as an educator. That's honestly what it is. I will be a better teacher at the end of May than I am right now. That's the point of trying something new. You get to see what skills need more work...where you are lacking...and strengthen them so that you are better than when you started.
Progress...not perfection!
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