My Body Acceptance Manifesto

Dear friends, in a few of my latest posts I mentioned that I am going through a transformation with regard to my views on weight and health.  Here is an article that speaks about the latest study done on the topic of weight and health.  Basically, there was a slightly LOWER mortality rate for people who were overweight!  Not what you learned from Dr. Oz or the millions of issues of women's magazines that told you that being fat increases you risk of this disease or that cancer?  Additionally, there is a school of thought that says that some of these diseases linked to obesity are the CAUSE of weight gain and not the result (the camp I am in by the way).

I've been fat since I was 6 years old.  I didn't feel bad about it until an aunt began to make me feel guilty for the amount of food I was eating and used the word "fat" to describe me.  I went on SlimFast for the first time when I was 7 years old.  Off and on for 13 years I was on some kind of diet (even briefly dabbling in bulimia in middle school).  Finally, when I was 21, I went on Weight Watchers.  I lost 100lbs...then due to budget reasons, I quit the program.  Over the next decade I gained back ALL of the weight plus 25 pounds.    I've tried all kinds of things to lose weight and NOTHING has worked. 

Well, in the last few months, I've done some homework and have discovered that the diet and fitness industry is just that....an INDUSTRY!  They want our money and don't care about our health.  A giant portion of these companies pump people full of synthetic supplements that cost exorbitant amounts of money.  The rest require strict, tasteless, food plans that take all of the joy out of life and leave the dieter obsessed about how well they have conformed and guilty and ashamed that they "cheated".   Finally there is the mutilating of your intestinal tract that is weight loss surgery.  They surgically cut your stomach/intestines so that you can only eat and digest 4 ounces of food at a time...and you CAN'T EVER drink a beverage with a meal or it will throw the whole thing off.  What THE HELL!!!!!

I'm not doing this shit anymore.  I WILL NOT!  My worth is not determined by my clothing size or a number on a scale.  Though that's cliché, y'all KNOW that there is truth in that.  I am tired of obsessing about what's going into my mouth...counting calories and Points (it's not f*&%ing helping anyway).  I am finished with being ashamed about darkening the door of a Lane Bryant.  I'm weary of worrying whether or not my body is pleasing to those who behold it.  NO MORE! 

What I will NOT do:

• I will not complain that I am fat.
• I will not compare my body to another woman's body.  And I will not make self depreciating comments in comparison to another woman.
• I will not "diet".
• I will not feel ashamed to dress this body the way I wish to.
• I will decide not to internalize dirty looks or rude comments from any person with regard to my weight.
• I will not force you to adopt this attitude.  You do what you do, friend.  This is not the ultimate message I want to preach.  I hope you'll become happy with your own body but I'm not going to shame you into it.

What I WILL do:

• I will do my best to keep my body healthy.  If by getting my body healthy, I lose weight...I'm Ok with that.  If by getting healthy, nothing changes...I'm Ok with that too.
• I will move and strengthen my body through movement that I enjoy.
• I will eat the food that I know is healthy for me but not feel guilty when I can't follow my plan perfectly.  I still plan to follow the A Blood Type Diet.  It is a diet designed to alleviate inflammation, not for weight loss.  Sugar is still limited as well because it chemically exacerbates my anxiety and depression.
• I will teach my sons to respect all women, regardless of their outward appearance.  They don't have to fall in love with every woman, but by God they can be gentlemen to every woman.
• I will cultivate a confidence that comes from being strong and healthy enough to do the things I want to do.
• I will buy clothes NOW instead of waiting until I finally lose some weight...and will proudly enter into a Lane Bryant and clearly and unabashedly tell the associate my size.

So that, in a nutshell, is my plan for healing my body image.  Will I fail and falter in this journey?  Yes, yes I will.  I'm gonna have fat days and days when I feel self conscious and massive.  But, I am choosing not to STAY in those days.  Just like any other transformation, it's going to take the kindness of my God to remind me that I am loved no matter how wide my waist is.  And if I have that love, I'm good.