My Sacrifice: Accepting Grace and Molding Men

Grace: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification -Merriam Webster Dictionary

 

 

If you'll notice, I often blog on Sunday nights.  This is not a coincidence.  Each Sunday, my family and I attend church.  Our pastors have excellent, thought provoking, Bible based, Jesus centered sermons.  Their words often inspire my heart and my writer's soul. 

 

Today's sermon was about worship and sacrifice (text from Hebrews 13).  The pastor said that worship is what you do with your lips and your limbs...and sacrifice is putting off an immediate comfort for the knowledge of greater things to come.  I listened and I reflected. 

 

Our church is big on sacrificial living...go to hard places, love unlovely people, give your time-energy-money away, and don't be concerned with your own comfort while doing it.  I get excited about those kind things!!!  I've shared previously that I intended to be a key player in the betterment of the world...this is my kind of church culture...EXCEPT that...well...right now...that's not my sacrifice.  As Pastor rattled off a list of examples of ways to sacrifice, I was listening for something I could jump in and help with.  THEN  he said we can't get our directions for sacrifice from a pulpit...or an article on the Internet...or a Tweet...or from anywhere but from God.  *Sigh* 

 

Again, I continue to mention that I am a DO-er.  There is nothing I enjoy more than being helpful and being joined into some sort of mission...some plan.  This is sometimes a problem in my relationship with God.  I have a strange bent when it comes to works of faith.  Often times, I lose sight of the reason why I am trying to love and serve the people around me.  It is supposed to be because God loved me when I was unlovable and died that I might be accepted...but in the end it becomes about how awesome I am...how many things I can put on my resume.

 

And let me tell you, when things are going well...that feels GREAT!  When things fall apart, that's when I understand the nature of my "good works".  I fall into self pity, self blame, self loathing, self condemnation...SELF.  I then transfer those feelings to God.  I think He is disappointed in me, He hates me, He is disgusted by me. 

 

Romans 8:38-39 says: ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

That my friends, is Truth.  God brought me to Himself.  He picked me even when I was at odds with Him.  He has adopted me as His own through the sacrifice of His Son and NOTHING...not one thing can change His love for me...EVER. 

 

You know what I did to earn that love? Not.One.Thing.  Even the dictionary defines Grace as UNMERITED.  That means unearned, undeserved, uncalled for.  I can't do enough good works to make Him happy with me...He already is.  I can't sacrifice enough time-energy-money to make myself worthy of His love...I already have it.  Even if I commit sin, He will cause me to feel remorse and compel me to repent because He is always loving me. 

 

Right now, and maybe not always, it is my sacrifice to accept the Truth that God loves me no matter what I am "doing" for Him.  He loves me whether I am an inner city teacher or a suburban substitute.  He loves me whether I am volunteering in my neighborhood or just enjoying the company of my neighbors at a porch party.  He loves me whether I take foster kids or decide that it's not for me.  He loves me whether or not I join This team or That ministry.

 

In this season of life, I am convinced that God is asking me to sacrifice by NOT being a joiner.  I think my chief mission right now is to care for my family...my sons.  It's a sacrifice because that is NOT my natural tendency.  I want to be BUSY for God and working hard for Him outside of my home.  It takes discipline for me to say no to things.  It takes determination to stare opportunities in the face and know that it's not the right time to choose them.  The amount of self control that I have to display when I hear of a need from the pulpit is massive. 

 

One of the "take away" lessons from being a foster parent was understanding that I don't have margin to ADD things on to this mission that is clearly before me.  Raising my sons is not an easy task.  They are smart, intense, strong willed, and endlessly energetic.  It takes supernatural strength and patience to live with them on a daily basis. 

As an exercise, my therapist asked me to create a Mothering Mission Statement. 

 

Here it is: 

In my home I will intentionally endeavor to raise sons who are men of strong character.  I desire for them to be productive members of society, authentic  followers of Christ, and caring participants in

their community.

 

 

Those ideals are not easy tasks.  I can't build into my sons the way I desire to if I don't focus on the work at hand.  I don't know why I struggle to see motherhood as a mission...but it most assuredly is.  My sacrifice is learning that I can joyfully empty myself out, wear myself thin, come to the end of my rope for God's glory merely by choosing to focus on raising my boys.  Even if they don't turn out to fit the principles set forth in my Mission Statement, I've done the best I could and obeyed God by sacrificing JOINING (at least in this season) and giving motherhood all I had to give. 

QUICK NOTE:  I would again like to reiterate that this is MY conviction...it is not the ONLY right conviction.  Every person is different...every family is different...every circumstance is different...YOU have to do what YOU have to do.