Infidelity

I cheated...it wasn't premeditated...it just happened. I went to a class last night. They offered snack mix. The only one the had contained candy covered chocolate pieces. I ate around them for a good portion of the small bag. Then, I sort of just got tired of eating around them. So I went for it.

Not good friends. If I was going to choose my cheat with malice, I would have chosen something of a MUCH higher quality.

The hardest thing? After cheating, I just wanted to scrap the rest of the evening. Dreams of large colas and chocolaty chip cookies filled my mind. "I already messed up...might as well enjoy it.", I thought. I then came to my senses and decided to just pick the fast back up without further indulgence.

My soul was not pierced with the agony of failure. The Lord did not smite me. His love for me will never fail...even when I fail Him. I simply repented and moved forward.

Upon reflection, I noticed what I was thinking/feeling at the time of the infidelity. I was thinking..."I am tired of this." Everything requires a special effort. I am sick of salty food...even well seasoned meals don't quite cut the craving for sweetness. I am just weary of the effort that it takes to give up the taste of sugar. Is it right that I am raging against the difficulty of this fast? I'm going with "no".

Life is challenging. Sacrifice (even a silly one like sugar) can be grueling on your body and mind. Just because something is hard doesn't mean it's not good. I fully intend to keep going...fully relying on God's strength because I am FOR SURE at the end of mine.