Lenten Fast 2014 Journey: Day 18

It has been 18 days since Ash Wednesday.  As you might recall, I have decided to fast screen time from 6:30pm-6:30am each day (excluding Sundays...because...I guess that's how you do it).  While it might not seem like a giant thing to sacrifice, I assure you it hasn't been easy and I have broken my fast a few times.

A time or two, I literally just forgot that I was forgoing screen time and checked Facebook or something. My husband kindly reminded me to put my phone away.  The other 2-3 times, I just felt like I had "good excuses" for checking my phone or watching snippets of TV...like being stuck in a hotel room with 3 young children two nights in a row.  Then, yesterday, I went to a 7:00 movie with my sister.

Anywho, I have mostly been following my fast and I have learned a few things.

• I go to bed A LOT earlier if I am reading during the evening hours rather than using a screen. 
• I don't mindlessly snack as much in the evenings.  This has been a strange by product of my 2014 Lenten Fast.  I honestly did not realize how linked TV and food have become in my life.  But, when I am reading (or falling asleep earlier), I just don't have the ability to snack like I do when my eyes are fixed on a TV screen. 

• I must isolate myself from my family...either physically removing myself from them or removing my attention to a book or magazine. This has probably been the hardest obstacle in this year's fast. From 7:00-7:30-ish my kids get to watch a show before be time. While, frankly, I enjoy the break every now and then, I start to miss my kiddos some days. Also, in my ignorance, I forgot about March Madness.  Fortunately, most of the games my husband "needed" to watch have been afternoon games (and the teams he cared about are out now).
• Aside from reading, I don't really know what to do with my time in the evenings.  Through the years everything has started to become more and more connected to my laptop or phone.   I am not even able to write very much anymore if my fingers aren't on a keyboard.  In the past I would fill notebooks with words...now that just sounds like a lot more work. AND, since the rest of my family is NOT fasting screen time, it's hard to get the kids interested in a game or my husband engaged in a conversation.
•  There has been some space created for me to seek God for healing.  Through a few books I've read, I have been able to figure some things out about my heart and about my faith.  Really, connecting with God is the point of a Lenten Fast.  So, I am thankful that even my puny and failed attempts at fasting have allowed me to focus more on spiritual things. 

We are nearly half way to Easter.  The truth is, I am going to have to take each day as it comes...and choose not to give it up entirely when I inevitably falter and cheat on my fast.  For me, Lent is another part of accepting the journey...progress not perfection...understanding that nothing I do can make me holy and nothing I do will ever stop God from loving me.