A More Ladylike Post On Fat-Hate

Dear friends, before I continue, I'd like to say that I'm sorry if you were offended by the language in my original post about fat-hate.  This is obviously a hot button issue for me and it's challenging for me to put my language filters on when I'm super angry.  Generally, I'm in the camp that says that good writing doesn't require swearing.  I've calmed down a little and I would like to unpack the reasoning behind my tirade...in an expletive free format.

First of all, my problem is not with Maria Kang.  I don't know her...though from the words she's written, she doesn't seem like the kind of woman I'd enjoy getting to know.  She is merely a woman who has thrust herself into the spotlight as the current poster-child for a long standing social issue.  My problem is specifically with the sentiment that she, and the hundreds of hateful commenters who threw their two cents into the argument, seems to hold so dear.  Namely, that fat people are not people.

I say this because fat-hate or fat-shaming are along the same lines of racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, and all of the other -isms in this world.  What happens when we classify and vilify a people group, is that we reduce them to the sum of their "other-ness".  Racism assumes that color equals culture...usually in a negative way. Sexism assumes that genitalia is the total measurement of what a person is capable of .  Homophobia assumes that all a person has to give is sex.  Fat-hate assumes that the size of a person determines their worth.  In these instances the people who are being hated cease to be human and begin to be ISSUES.  I am NOT an issue. I am a woman who was fearfully and wonderfully made by God.

Proponents of fat-hate say that it's not the same as racism or sexism because it is something that the offending party can control (unlike skin color or gender).  "Calories in calories out!", they cry.  "Diet and exercise!", they shout.  "Just eat less!", they offer.  Dear readers, if it were REALLY that simple, I wouldn't be overweight.  I have tried to follow all of those tenets, and either they don't work, or it's ALL I can focus on.  Getting and staying thin and fit will consume my entire life...HAS consumed my life at one time or another.  Because of a myriad of factors, weight is an uphill battle that I can't ever stop fighting.  Never.  I refuse to let my size be the defining goal of my life.  There's more for me...and that's OK.

Additionally, for me, food is not just food.  Binge eating and compulsive overeating are eating disorders. Anorexia and COE are two sides of the same coin. Anorexics see food as the greatest enemy. We, the fat, often see food as a best friend. In fact, many researchers are beginning to realize, for many fat people, food is not a problem...it is a SOLUTION...a way to handle stress, pain, and loneliness. Food comforts my hurts, listens to my stresses, and  lets me celebrate.   There are deep rooted psychological and spiritual issues that are attached to food.  Most people would not dare look at an emaciated woman in the throes of anorexia and flippantly scream to her, "Just eat a sandwich stupid!". It's more complex than that. There is work to be done in her heart and her mind.  There is work to be done in MY heart and mind.  I'm doing a lot of that work with my therapist and with God.    Screaming, "Stop eating sandwiches stupid!" isn't going to help...in fact, it's going to hurt me and make me run into the orange stained arms of a bag of Cheetos.

I want to be healthy and I want to be strong.  Right now, it's vital that I get healthy and strong on the inside.  Until that happens, anything I do to my outside will be short lived and wasted effort.  It's not the job of the general public to tell me what my priorities are. It's not their job to measure me by my dress size.  It's not their job to reduce my humanity to the circumference of my waist.