The Resolve

My new posture toward sugar is simple. Sugar is a "sometimes" food. It is a sweet gift from God, but not designed to be enjoyed every day (multiple times a day).

I plan to celebrate holidays and special occasions with the sweet treats associated with them. I will not be celebrating random holidays as a means to get more desserts...Talk Like a Pirate day does not necessitate a holiday celebration dessert.

If I am going to partake I am going to make sure it is a dessert quality. Little Debbie snacks are NOT high quality! Soda is NOT high quality!

I am absolutely planning to avoid sugar substitutes. This is something that I did before the fast, but I have an even stronger resolve to stick with the "real" thing and not a laboratory created facsimile of God's sugary kindness. I will be experimenting with more natural sugars than "white sugar" like honey, turbinado, cane juice, maple syrup, and agave as well as using fruit for it's sweetness.

What I Learned

1. There are more reasons than I thought for abusing sugar. In the beginning of the fast I assumed that I used sugar for comfort mostly. As it turns out, I found myself equally being tempted to indulge in sweet treats for approval...or really to avoid disapproval.
   


2. Sugar is a ridiculous presence in our country and it is going to take God's strength and the Spirit's conviction to emancipate me from my servitude to sugar.


3. Without God filling the void that sugar leaves, I will just be inclined to fill it with something else...thus the instruction on avoiding snacking.


4. On as less spiritual note, I discovered that sugar is not necessarily the culprit of my "ample waistline". After fasting sugar for 42 days and generally avoiding snacking for about half of that time, I did not see ANY evidence on the scale. I would like to reiterate that I did NOT fast sugar for weight loss...but I honestly expected to see evidence of my sugar worship disappearing from my body. I feel less puffy...but the numbers don't lie. So, I either need to discover what other food strongholds there are in my life or see a doctor about an underlying medical reason for my high weight.

Ending Early?

Ecc. 3:1-8

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

As I decided to end my fast yesterday I thought of this verse. My only sister delivered her first baby yesterday. While preparing to attend the birth I decided that I would break my fast. It just seemed like an inappropriate time to be concerned with sacrifice.

The plan was to pick up the fast again today. However, I decided that I wanted to end as a means of personal accomplishment and not necessarily for the glory of God. So, I am done now.

In the end I fasted from sugar for 42 days (with the few little hiccups I blogged about). I learned so many things about my unholy/unhealthy dependence on sugar. I will break that down in another post.

Fight to the Finish

I WANT SUGAR SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!! I want ice cream and brownies and chocolate ANYTHING. This is AWFUL!

I can't pinpoint any emotional reason for this current agony. There isn't any blatant spiritual reason that I crave. I think I just know that Easter is coming soon. Having my goal on the horizon is pushing my endurance. Endurance is a skill where I am laughably weak. So, I continue to reap lessons from participating in the sugar fast.

In a spirit of thankfulness, I am glad that the entire fast hasn't been this gut wrenching. I am going to be compelled to pray now more than ever that God will help me honor this fast until Easter. I am going to need my community to come along side me and help me limp across the sugar free finish line.

Added challenges:
1. my husband's family is celebrating Easter on Saturday. After talking with Mark I have decided to stay true to the Lenten season and go all the way until Sunday.

2. I am in charge of desserts for Easter. I will be making a coconut chocolate cheese cake and strawberry cream cheese cake truffles. None of which I get to taste until Sunday. I will have to rely on the trustiness of my recipes and my poor husbands VERY indecisive palate to ensure Easter dessert success.

Friends I implore you to pray for me and if you see me going for sugar...be tough with me...it's for the good of my soul to let God work in me as I let go of my dependence on sugar.

Infidelity

I cheated...it wasn't premeditated...it just happened. I went to a class last night. They offered snack mix. The only one the had contained candy covered chocolate pieces. I ate around them for a good portion of the small bag. Then, I sort of just got tired of eating around them. So I went for it.

Not good friends. If I was going to choose my cheat with malice, I would have chosen something of a MUCH higher quality.

The hardest thing? After cheating, I just wanted to scrap the rest of the evening. Dreams of large colas and chocolaty chip cookies filled my mind. "I already messed up...might as well enjoy it.", I thought. I then came to my senses and decided to just pick the fast back up without further indulgence.

My soul was not pierced with the agony of failure. The Lord did not smite me. His love for me will never fail...even when I fail Him. I simply repented and moved forward.

Upon reflection, I noticed what I was thinking/feeling at the time of the infidelity. I was thinking..."I am tired of this." Everything requires a special effort. I am sick of salty food...even well seasoned meals don't quite cut the craving for sweetness. I am just weary of the effort that it takes to give up the taste of sugar. Is it right that I am raging against the difficulty of this fast? I'm going with "no".

Life is challenging. Sacrifice (even a silly one like sugar) can be grueling on your body and mind. Just because something is hard doesn't mean it's not good. I fully intend to keep going...fully relying on God's strength because I am FOR SURE at the end of mine.