Unexpected Effects

Ten pills...I take ten pills a day now.  A few weeks ago I got my prescription from my naturopathic doctor. I've been on the new medicine for a little over a week now. It's helping. Although the first few days I felt WIRED (like I had gulped down 3-4 cups of coffee), my energy level has tapered off at higher than normal but not overly hyper. That is a welcome change.

Besides higher energy and a little more even mood, I have an unexpected effect from the medication. You see, I've had anxiety AT LEAST since my senior year of high school (15 YEARS people!!). Because of that, I have carried obscene amounts of tension in my neck, shoulders, and face. Most of the time I do not have full range of motion in my neck due to extreme tension. Usually my trapezius muscles are so stiff that it feels like I have metal rods in my shoulders instead of flesh. No joke, I have had massage therapists tell me that they could not massage my neck and shoulders because they were too tight.

Treating the imbalances in my body chemistry has allowed my body to stop being so damn uptight. As a result, my muscles are starting to relax a little...and OH MY GRACIOUS it hurts so much!  Who knew that after 15+ years of tension, my muscles would feel like someone had used them as a punching bag?!  My shoulders and neck are throbbing and achy. I've gotten a couple of tension headaches from UN-TENSING my body.  There has even been a random uptick in my physical anxiety symptoms because my body just feels weird and that of course makes me certain I am going to die and I get anxious. I am able to talk myself down and remember that relaxed muscles are a good thing.

I'm still getting used to the "floppy" feeling of my newly relaxed muscles. My instinct is to re-tense them...just because that feels normal. Sometimes healing is weird...sometimes it causes pain to heal. Ultimately, I know that this weird new side effect of balancing my biochemistry will subside and I will grow more and more accustomed to living life without constant physical tension.