GF-DF-EF-PF and because it matters SF

This Monday I got the news I expected but dreaded.  Since birth, my youngest son has had a fairly severe case of eczema as well chronic nasal congestion and intestinal issues.  We've seen dermatologists, allergists, and his pediatrician on a regular basis.  When he was 1, we had him tested for food allergies at the allergist. The results came back negative.  We've tried lotions, steroids, bleach baths, Zyrtec, Hydroxozine, Zinc supplements, and all sorts of other eczema remedies.  Our home has been fragrance and dye free for the last 7 years (when my Big Boy was also born with eczema).  Even with all of these interventions, Little Brother's eczema is still so bad that he has scarring and is ceaselessly itching his skin. Whenever we go somewhere new or meet new people I have to explain that he isn't contagious, but that he has really bad eczema.  That's tough.

Last Spring we became aware that Little Brother wasn't growing at a normal rate.  He'd barely gained any weight and had only grown slightly taller.  After a little research, I became concerned that our use of steroids was stunting his growth (recent research may have revealed another cause, but stunted growth is a side effect of steroid use).  We visited his doctor and tried everything we could think of to help heal his poor skin besides using the steroid creams.

He continued to have a constant itchy rash on most of his body...it was worst on his little hands which were beginning to become deformed from swelling and bleeding. Finally, I decided to try taking him to my naturopath.  The only reason I had been hesitant before was because it is SOOOO expensive to go to her.  I personally already spend upward of $300 every time I see her.  But, he was so miserable, I decided to put off my treatment and get him an appointment instead.

The morning we went to see her I could tell that she was quite concerned for him.  She asked about his breathing (which has always been a little Darth Vader-ish because of his chronic congestion) and decided immediately that we would take him off of all dairy. Additionally, she ran an extensive blood test to check for food allergies.  I told her that he'd been tested and his results were negative.  That's when she explained to me that the traditional tests check for the kind of histamine that causes anaphylaxis, the test she was running would check for a different histamine.

After waiting 4 weeks for the test results to come back, we discovered that my son is severely allergic to Wheat (gluten), ALL dairy (even goat dairy), eggs, and peanuts.  He is moderately allergic to almonds (bye bye almond milk), hazelnuts, citrus, and soy.  His doctor wants him to be off of the moderate allergens for 4 months.  She told me that we may get to reintroduce some of the other foods in the distant future, but that with as high as his dairy reaction was, he's likely never to be able to have it. I guess since I suspected that these would be his results, I wasn't knocked over by this new dietary revelation.

However, in anticipation of the meeting with the doctor, I mentally prepared myself.  Because of my mental health patterns, I knew that I needed to find a way to avoid the overwhelmedness that so often triggers my anxiety and depression. I've decided that the best defense to is eat the elephant one bite at a time.  Focusing on meal planning for TODAY...or THIS week is all that I can do.  And, really that feels doable.

If I look at the big picture of what it means for my family to go Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Egg Free, Peanut Free, and Soy Free (because a lot of items replace dairy with soy and he is moderately allergic, I feel like we need to include that), I will quickly begin to feel the weight of this challenge.  Going into anxiety (insane obsession) mode won't help anyone.  These changes are probably life long changes. Though I immediately cleared most of the allergens out of our home, I realized that I don't have to figure EVERYTHING out right now.  And truly, it feels good to have that kind of control over my mental health. I get to choose how I handle this and I am choosing to do it with a calm mind and a hopeful attitude (his skin already looks better, so that is very encouraging).

The other mental health concern I have is being labeled "one of those people".  Firstly, Little Brother does not puff up and have a deadly reaction to these allergens.  It's more systemic and a lot of people have a misconception of what eczema is, so making such drastic dietary changes seems overly dramatic. What most people don't understand is that eczema is not just dry skin. Little Brother's eczema is a constant, FULL BODY rash that he itches until it bleeds (and I discovered that Celiac disease shows up with a similar rash, so it very well could be that since he also has most of the symptoms of that disease). I don't enjoy the idea of being the lady who has to give the Wikipedia run down of his health issues every time the allergen topic comes up.  Deciding when to educate and when to just allow people to be judgmental is going to be tough.

Secondly, some people who are gluten free or vegan are making a CHOICE about their diet.  Often those people have a recruitment mindset and sermonize about their choices. That annoys me (and many others).  We MUST be gluten free, vegan (no eggs, no dairy, though we still eat meat), and peanut free because our son is chronically and adversely effected by those things.  Unless you are in the same health situation and are looking for solutions, it's not my job to convert you to gluten free- peanut free-meat eating veganism.  Being lumped in with diet zealots makes me uncomfortable, but I have to make a conscious choice to not care.  That will be tough.

Treating Little Brother's health issue is going to be a marathon and not a sprint.  It will take endurance, commitment, and probably lots of tears (from both of us).  I will need support from family, friends, and caretakers.  But in a weird way, I feel like God giving me this situation is a chance for heart level transformation.  In the past endurance has been a weakness of mine.  This time, my child's health is at stake.  I can't give up.  I can't get overwhelmed.  When the days come where it feels unbearable, I have to dig in and allow God to fill me with strength that I don't have so that I can pick myself up and keep going for the sake of my son.