Thankful

Well, hello friends!

It's been a little over a month since I took an intentional break from blogging. In general my mental health has been kind of up and down. The truth is, life is designed to be fraught with ups and downs. This truth is, as a recovering perfectionist, still hard to accept. That's why I wanted to write today to share with you a sweet revelation that came into my mind twice last month....because it's the sweet things that give us comfort and courage when we are not at our best.

Last month one of my best friends got married and I was in the bridal party. During the ceremony I was up on the stage. My body was turned in such a way as to both see the bride and groom and to look out into the congregation. On my left, the bride was lovely and elegant. She and her groom listened intently as the pastor officiated their ceremony.

I heard the pastor's words, which were full of life and hope...commitment and love. My heart welled up with love and gratitude because, while he was imparting his words to the bride and groom, I was stealing looks at my little family. As I glanced off to my right, I saw, seated on a pew, my husband and two sons. They were dressed up for the occasion and looked so handsome.

In those moments I felt so fortunate to have a kind and good husband. He looked so strong and capable next to my two small sons. The boys were sitting quietly watching the wedding. Their little faces were peaceful and sweet...and I thanked God as many times as I could that it was my honor to be the wife of that man and the mother to those sons. My heart continued to be happy even when the boys lost interest and began wrestling on the floor on the side aisle.

I had cause to be filled with gratitude again when we recently ventured out of town for a quick weekend trip. My sons were all buckled into their car seats, ready for the drive and I mused to myself  about how big they had gotten. Then a thought came upon me...this was one of the first times I looked at my sons and didn't wish they were older. I loved them, right then and there, just for being what they were. Through the rest of the weekend I was overwhelmed with tenderness for my boys.

My intention for sharing this today is not to boast because God knows these glowing moments of love were just punctuations to long, gritty, mundane days. Rather, I write today to celebrate that an imperfect woman can, every so often, be overcome with breathtaking love for her man and their two little boys. It's beautiful and I am thankful.