A Really Nice Day

We are now at the beginning of the third week of summer.  I was so excited for school to be done so we could start our laid back, fun, easy summer. Unfortunately, like many things we build up in our head, it hasn't been the blissful season that I envisioned.

The first few weeks were pretty rough.  We had to readjust to being together all of the time.  Even three weeks in Little Brother still wakes up and asks me "where am I going today?"...wondering if it's an at-home day, a preschool day, or a Nana day. But, we're starting to get into a rhythm...and that's a good thing.

On Mondays we are getting together with my sister, her best friend (who has been part of our family for 15 years) and their preschool kiddos.  Yesterday we took them to a local children's spot for some art, ecology, and lunch. Nothing really spectacular happened...but it was a really nice day.

I've been very forthcoming in sharing that motherhood has been rough for me.  For most of my children's lives I have struggled with irritability, depression, disengagement, frustration, and stress. While I still have moments that are characterized by these attributes, in the last year I have become more relaxed, joyful, and engaged when it comes to my sons.

Yesterday they were well behaved, fun, and great listeners. I truly just loved watching them play and have fun with their cousins.  Now, I realize that you just have to be thankful for a tantrum/drama free day...but honestly I wonder if we don't feed off of each other's attitudes.  If I am tranquil and content, they seem to be less likely to get crazy.  If I am agitated and barking commands through gritted teeth, it seems to ramp them up.

When I came home and recounted the day to my husband, I just had an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the gift of appreciating my children.  I am dead serious when I say that this change in attitude toward my babies can only be the work of Jesus in my life.  I don't mean that in a creepy, church lady, televangelist way. But, I honestly believe that Jesus uses the stuff of life to shape our hearts...the great stuff and the gross stuff.

The path that life has led me down has been rocky.  I've stumbled, tripped, lost my way, and sat down to cry in despair.  I believe most people have a similar story (that's why I blog...we're all in this together).  The difference in my life is that I have a God that walks with me, pulls me up, redirects me, and let's me spend some time resting on glorious green hills.  Yesterday, I got to sit on a hill and enjoy the view of my sweet kiddos.  It was a really nice day and I appreciated it.