Stress Test

The reason why I am and will likely always be a pessimist is because of seasons like the one my little family is in right now.  Having recently been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue, I've been making a concerted effort to avoid excess stress.  But, I'll be danged if stress doesn't always FIND me. 

The last 2-3 weeks have been filled with busyness, traveling, organizing and hosting children's birthday parties, dealing with (and paying for) property crime for the 2nd time this summer, getting both boys back to school, managing tired and emotional kids who just went back on a school schedule, adjusting to my husband starting a new job (with longer hours) on the same day my Big Boy started school, researching new cars, stressing about car payments and trade in value, preparing to start work again, necessary craft projects with short deadlines, and blah, blah, blah, and so on and so on.  Adrenal fatigue makes my threshold of stress much lower than the average person.  So, even though there is nothing major going on, I am feeling stressed.  It seems like all of these minor stresses just keep layering on top of one another until I find myself oppressed by stressed.  When I stop and think about all of the things that need my energy I get very overwhelmed.  I wonder WHY I can't get a break.

Now, I'm doing a lot of work with positive self talk and trying to manage my stress level.  My mind and heart are feeling good (mostly, my sister has had to talk me down a time...or five).  However, even if I am feeling really capable and confident that I can handle what's on my plate (so to speak) my body betrays me.  I have trouble breathing and get strange and disconcerting pains.  My shoulders tense, my jaw clenches, my face scrunches, and I begin to feel symptoms of anxiety. 

It's very ironic that I am engaged in a battle to stay peaceful and calm...what I weird thing to FIGHT for.  But, I have to.  I am unwell and unhappy and refuse to keep living this way.  There are a few strategies which have been beneficial in helping me guide my body through this season of stress. 

First, I'm trying not to hold my breath.  Being an intentional and deep breather does not some naturally to a person with anxiety.  Additionally, I am consciously relaxing my face.  I am always shocked at how tense my face is...like, ALL the time.  Releasing my skull muscles' kung fu grip tends to send a signal to the rest of my body to relax.  Finally, I am remembering that I am cared for by God.  We were blessed to have the means to pay for two different crime related car repairs.  It is the provision of God that my husband and I are both employed.  We have always been taken care of, through every storm (great or small) we have weathered in our 9 years together.  I can say nice things to myself all day (and it DOES help) but reflecting on the faithfulness of God is the most potent positive self talk I can engage in.  Counting my blessings has an uplifting and quieting effect on my steely muscles. 

Stress is life.  True story.  Learning how to manage my mind and my body are my ways of insuring that the stress of life doesn't make me a joyless bundle of crazy for the rest of my days.