Igniting A Fire

I'm blogging today from a borrowed computer at an unfamiliar school in a classroom I have never been in before.  As a substitute teacher, this is my life.  When I get my call each day, I know I will face the morning with some degree of mystery.  Usually I have information pertaining to grade level, teacher's name, school, etc.  I know that I will work within the districts prescribed curriculum for Reading, Math, Science, Social Studies, and Spelling.

The most important information, that I don't have, is about how the day will FEEL.  Will my kids be well behaved or wild?  Will the teacher be organized or will I spend tons of time finding manuals and worksheets? Will the other faculty and staff be welcoming or frigid?  Because I rotate between 30 elementaries, 4 middle schools, and 4 high schools, I really never know what I am going to get.  Today was a happy surprise.  I am working in an upper elementary classroom...they are well behaved....they switch classes...and I am subbing for the reading teacher!  Yay!  But, even so I got more than I bargained for when I saw what the text was for today.

The selection that I get to read with 3 different classes today is a piece about the words of Abraham Lincoln. The "Essential Question" (which is the theme for the story) is, "How can words lead to change?"  While this may not do much for YOU, after teaching this story twice this morning, I have a fire in my belly. How.Can.Words.Lead.To.Change. Words change things.  They alter history.  They reshape minds.  They redirect the paths of our souls.

I love to hear the passion and the conviction that leaves my lips as I try to impress upon these 10 year olds just how powerful words can be.  Not just words...beautiful words...descriptive words...gloriously detailed words.  I explain that what could be said as a flat fact comes ALIVE when you use the right words.  I feel like a preacher when I speak of the wonder of words.  I want them to know and understand the sheer magnitude of the syllables that come from their mouths or fall from their pens.  I want them to join me in the pursuit of ideas, dreams, and soulful ideals through the medium of language.

What I love most of all is what I see when they are listening to my sermon on the power of words.  Yes, I look out and see boys doodling dragons or girls giggling with their friends.  BUT...in a few pairs of sparkling eyes I see it.  They are with me.  They understand what I am trying to express.  They want in on the mystery of powerful language. .

These kiddos will be creators, innovators, and world changers...maybe not on a grand scale...but by some measure they will use words to influence the lives of others.  THIS!  This is why I became an educator.  WORDS!  I have a writers soul and I want to stir up the possibilities in other young ones.  Words in science, math, literature, homemaking, relationships, faith, community, dry wall hanging, the minutiae of the everyday are what informs our inner being about what we think, how we feel, and what we wish.  I realize I didn't "inspire" a child to greatness or change a life today...this isn't my first day...but to be one of the many people who spoke sparks into the fire of their hearts is an honor...even if it's just for today.

NOTE:  THE CLASS WAS AT LIBRARY WHEN I WROTE THIS...I DID NOT NEGLECT A CLASS FULL OF CHILDREN TO BLOG...I PROMISE!

Please Excuse The Mess...We Live Here

Friends, I am done apologizing for the condition of my home.  The first thing out of my mouth when people come in (unless I've done company caliber cleaning) is, "please excuse the mess".  My house isn't filthy or cluttered to any hoarding standard, but it certainly doesn't look like a magazine.  It also doesn't look as clean as my mom and mother in laws houses.  I find myself measuring up to those standards and see that I am grossly lacking. 

But, magazines are staged and photoshopped.  They show perfection to sell you something.  My mom and mother in law do not have two rambunctious young sons.  They also, being introverts, do not need as much time AWAY from home as I do.   

This year, I am deciding NOT to say "please excuse my house" any longer.  I keep it tidy-ish, sanitary-esque, and vermin free.  Some days that's the best I can do.   I live in a big 100 year old house, that, when it was built, had a staff to go with it.  I do not have the budget for housekeeping services...so, I do what I can.

What's interesting is that I have the sneaking feeling that I am in a silent majority...a large group of home managers who struggle to keep up with laundry, dishes, meal prep, and the like.  We think we are the only ones who don't have it together...but I think we are wrong.  Now, I do understand that for some home managers, house cleaning is a TOP priority.  That's great for them.  They are living the way they wish.  Frankly, housekeeping is at the bottom of my Top Five priorities.  And, that's OK too. 

For those of y'all who are with me in this uphill climb we call housekeeping, I offer you photos of what my house REALLY looks like day to day.  I chose this day at random...I have not cleaned it or cluttered it for the sake of being photographed...this is the way it looked today.  This is only the downstairs, because this is the part you would see if you came over.  If I know you well enough to invite you to the 2nd floor, I know you aren't gonna care what it looks like.

• LIVING ROOM: Mismatched Recliners, Pile O' Blankets, Pile O' Dishes, Wii controller on the floor, crooked lampshade.

• ENRTYWAY: Baskets O' Clean Laundry, Pile O' Junk on the Entryway Chair, Random Extra Chair waiting to be taken up to the attic...for about a week now.

• LAUNDRY NOOK:  Pile O' Clothes waiting to go into the wash, cluttery laundry storage.

• KITCHEN SINK:  So many dishes...always so many dishes.  We have a portable dishwasher, it only cleans dishes about 70% of the time, so there is a lot of rewashing.  Also, when we run the dishwasher we cannot use the sink, the washing machine, or take a shower...it needs optimum water heat and pressure to do its best work. 

• KITCHEN COUNTER:  The ONLY kitchen counter I have.  Cluttery mess.  Yesterday's soup pot still sits on the stove because it wouldn't fit in the sink with the other dishes.  We have a limited amount of storage in our house, so we have to use some of the teensy amount of counter space we have to house stuff.  PS...Please know that, if you receive meals from me, I tidy and sanitize my workspace before I prepare food.

• THE BACK ROOM:  Again, we've had to get creative with storage.  Also, on the left you can see our lovely recycling bin.  There is not a good place to keep it outside, so here it is.  This space also serves as a mudroom and dog crate area (not pictured).

• DINING ROOM: Dishes from breakfast...it is 3:00pm.  I left the house around 10 this morning and hadn't tidied them up.  This happens most often when I am gone for the day.  Our desk also lives here.  It's where we stack mail and other copious amounts of crap.

• THE 1/2 BATH:  This is where my rambunctious young sons wash their hands after playing outside.   If you see a larger version of this photo, you will notice a nice film of mud on the inner basin as well as muddy fingerprints along the outside.  The light switch (not pictured) and the walls are stained with wet, dirty, drip stains.

• THE 1/2 BATH POTTY:  It is what it is. 

 So, there you have it.  My house as it looks on a random day.  It has gotten a lot tidier since we stopped allowing toys on the 1st floor (though the odd handful of Legos still finds their way to the middle of the rug and subsequently to the arch of my foot).  When you come over on a random day, this is what you'll find...and I won't apologize for it. 

Unseasonably Well

Hello there! 

So, it's the middle of January...and...I'm actually feeling pretty good.  Even though my worst month is February, this month usually signals the start of the downward spiral.  I attribute my sense of wellness to a couple of things.

1. Sunshine and above average temperatures.  One reason winter is so hard on me is that frigid, snowy, icy weather confines me to my home.  I get cabin fever something fierce and it doesn't take more than a few days for the walls to close in around me.  This winter has been mild.  So, I get more sunlight/vitamin D (which is linked to serotonin production) AND I get to leave my house whenever I want to!

2. Copious amounts of Vitamin D.  My naturopathic doctor has prescribed me 5000 IU of Vitamin D each day.  The RDA is 600 IU...but that is a minimum requirement.  I am already D deficient (as diagnosed by TWO different medical professionals...an MD and my naturopath).  The D helps in two ways.  It is prescribed to help with my hip/joint pain, but again Vitamin D is linked to serotonin production.  This high dose seems to be helping.

3. Reframing.  One element of my depression is the feeling that the cold, cruel, dead winter is endless.  This year, I've noticed that I am reminding myself that I've made it through 32 winters.  And really, I made it through LAST winter and that was one of my worst.  So, I'll make it through this one...I WILL be OK. 

It's nice to feel good.  It may or may not last...but, right now, I'm good... and I'll take it!