Status Quo

My stomach was in knots yesterday as I counted down the hours to my doctor's appointment. Two weeks ago, I took a neurotransmitter test...I was about to get the results. While I sort of knew what to expect, the nervousness of the unknown worked its way through my body.

As soon as I stepped into her office and exchanged greetings, my doctor slid the results across the desk. The first thing I noticed was that almost everything was normal. That's was a good thing. No surprises.Then she drew my attention to my serotonin and GABA levels. Even with my antidepressant, my serotonin still tested low. GABA is a brain chemical that is used for calming and it was, by far, my most underfunctioning neurotransmitter. When GABA is low, the symptoms present as anxiety, depression, fatigue, and an inability to handle stress.  Yeah, I have that.

My biggest concern going into this appointment was the treatment. I've gone off of my antidepressant before and it was awful...I was afraid she was going to ask that of me...and I wasn't sure how I felt about that possibility. But, she didn't want me to go off of my meds.  To get my serotonin levels up, she is just adding a supplement to my antidepressant. When I got that news, I breathed a sigh of relief!  Also, because of my levels of serotonin and GABA in combination with some other symptoms I have presented with, she thinks part of my problem is zinc and b6 deficiency...we're just doing some simple supplements for that.

So, the news was not really news and the treatment is kind of minimal.  I'm good with that.  Now we just wait and see if I feel better.  Fingers crossed.

Terrifyingly Hopeful

My journey to health through naturopathic medicine began when I read a book called The Mood Cure by Julia Ross.  I was in the worst state of depression I have ever been in and I was look for natural ways to help myself.  There was a quiz at the beginning of the book to help me narrow down which neurotransmitters deficiency I had.  There were 5 focuses and I had high scores in 4 of them! The book offered, what I consider to be, sound nutritional and supplemental advice (a lot of which has been echoed by my natural doctor).  I gave it a go for about a month, but, I was so far down the path of despair and self loathing that I couldn't claw my way out without pharmaceuticals.  So, I set the book aside and got a new scrip for sertraline (which I had been on for 18 months after Little Brother was born).

At the same time I got my new prescription for antidepressants, I shared with my doctor that I was concerned about my substantial weight gain since having Little Brother.  I had tried dieting and exercise and nothing was working...I was still GAINING weight. She basically told me that my body was just one of those bodies that resists weight loss.  She told me to go on a 1200 calorie, no carb diet and gave me the numbers for several bariatric surgeons.  I wasn't having it!  There was/is something going on with my body chemistry. Completely disgusted with the whole mainstream medical community, I decided to try out a naturopathic doctor.

 I chose my natural doctor for two reasons...1. She is on staff at a local, prestigious, research hospital. 2.Her expertise is in the field of neurotransmitters.  We haven't even started to deal with the weight issues because I was right in thinking that I had some imbalances within my body. Until this month, we had done very little work with neurotransmitters.  I have been considering this test for a long time, since the sertraline has been helpful...lifesaving really...but depression and anxiety still live pretty close to the surface for me.  So, I either needed to go see a psychiatrist and get some sort of cocktail of meds, or try going the natural route under a doctors care. But, because of cost and fear, I have been putting it off.

When I went to go pick up my antidepressant at the pharmacy in June, it had a note that said I had no more refills without an appointment.  I have ZERO intention of ever going back to that doctor. So, I figured now would be an opportune time to do the neurotransmitter testing with my natural doctor The test checks levels for 9 different neurotransmitters.  While there are a few that I am unfamiliar with, The Mood Cure books dealt in depth with 5 of them, so I have at least a basic grasp of what these chemicals do and what symptoms of imbalances are.

The reason that I titled this post Terrifyingly Hopeful is because that is exactly how I feel. It's terrifying, because I have NOT had good luck with being off of my medications.  I get weird withdrawal symptoms (I get "zaps" in my head, which is really similar to the feeling you get when you lick a 9-volt battery) and slowly creep back into crazy. On the other hand, I am hopeful because it will be so helpful to know what my actual levels of neurotransmitters are, instead of just guessing with a checklist. AND, I will not be dosing myself with supplements, I will be following a prescribed plan based on scientific information.

The results take two weeks to return, so I won't know what is going on until close to the end of the month.  I am an intelligent, biology nerd kind of a gal, so I feel confident that I can guess which neurotransmitters are screwy.  What will be interesting to find out is HOW screwy, the balance of chemicals in relation to one another, what her suggestions are for remedying the imbalances, and if there is any hope for me to EVER be off of medication/supplements.